Monday, July 7, 2008

Keep Finding or Just...Be Contented?

A friend of mine, let's name him Sun (he wants his name to be kept private :P) was telling me about his BGR problems last night. He was feeling frustrated with his current relationship because both of them were always arguing. To solve things, he'd always have to give in by apologising, even though it wasn't his fault. I asked him if they ever talk about things that they argue about, and find out what's the problem, he said not really.

I told him I thought they should, at least clarify what's the core of the problem and this may improve the relationship. He was already thinking of giving up. Then I asked him to at least talk about it first, give both of them a chance. But he thought it was already too late to make amends.

Sun, I think I know what you mean and how you feel. You also asked me if being in a relationship means finding Ms./Mr. Right or just be contented with who you are. It's really tough for me to answer you this question on general terms, but if you asked me based on what I've gone through, I'd say, find your Ms. Right.

I have always thought that Mr. Right does not exist, and that I should just be contented with whoever I was with. But when I held on to the believe of the latter, I wasn't happy. I felt frustrated because we never got along. There were always arguments, miscommunication or misunderstandings between me and my then partner. We tried so hard to resolve the problems, but they kept recurring. My then relationship, although it lasted for about 5 years, was quite a rocky one. One day, we thought the running in and out of the relationship, and trying to put up with each other, has to come to a stop. We decided to call it off and head our own ways.

Ending it was tough, but we had to, because in the long run, we both suffered and will suffer if we were to continue the relationship. Although it was a deep pit that we had to learn to crawl out from, but we managed. I'm glad that he and I are happy with where we are right now.

There were many relationship mistakes I made after that, and it has taught me that hey, maybe being contented with whoever I am with, won't work. If I can't find Mr. Right, or if there wasn't one for me, then I'm best off being single. And single I was. Happy too :)

It is when I was happy with my singlehood that I met my Mr. Right. He came unexpectedly into my life. Then, I never knew that he was my Mr. Right, because, truth to be told, we didn't get along well at the beginning. Besides us being stubborn, he and I are very different. I really mean, VERY.

I had had wanted to call it off before, but he believed that we were meant for each other. And with his patience, somehow we worked things out. Our differences became the very factor that brought us together. His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. We managed to find a common ground and work from there.

Was it a torturous moment working out our differences? In the beginning yes, but it didn't take us long to accept each other for who we are.

I'm not sure how I finally knew that he is the one for me. But, I just...knew. Now, I'm just glad that we found each other.

Sun, to your question, if I'd say 'yes' again to his proposal? The answer is yes, even if he asked a thousand times or more :) Believe that you'll find your Ms. Right, and you will. Meanwhile, just go with the flow, and take wherever life may lead you ok :)

Till then, I wish everyone love and happiness....*huggz*

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